ode to...er...uh...Steve Simmons...

Steve Simmons is a sports writer I follow thanks in part to his columns on canoe slam sports and his appearances on TSN's the reporters.

He is the proto-typical crazy sportswriter - i.e. lots of energy, lots of passion, and lots of need for attention. Think Stephen A. Smith without the conservative racial arguments. Or Mike Lupica without the logic. In an era of talking heads competing over noise, shock, and, thereby, attention, it seems the crazier the sportswriter the greater the job security.

Like all of these guys, Simmons is the sort of uncomfortable guy who deep down lacks confidence in his skills. This doubt fuels his need to natter on and on, and make him somewhat repellent. I can't see industry people seeking out his opinion on a topic let alone sitting next to him at a game. You can just see it in the reactions of Damien Cox and Michael Farber to Simmons' comments on TSN's The Reporters - a sort of Brian Fantana "take it easy, Champ. why don't you stop talking for a while" moment.

In spite of his short-comings, Simmons loves to stir the pot of the Toronto media market. At press conferences, he is the one asking long-winded questions that are one part indictment and one part shameless self plug, but always damning. He knows the angle of the story before he writes it, and is seeking any in by the subject to make it work.

Many other sportswriters clearly have been in the biz too long. For them, it is a job. It gives them a paycheque. It gets them into the games they once loved. They report, but they don't really care what they are saying. Facts or not, Simmons loves what he says and deeply believes in his statements...well, until a week after they are published. He is committed mainly because he wants to initially agitate; if the information changes after the fact, he ignores his missteps, changes his position, and condemns someone else. Better still, he holds people accountable to their previous decisions - and even their decisions they should have made as he is the master of the "if only" statement.

His writing is a mix of the negative and the positive of the sports world told through simple arguments and assumed reader knowledge. Even better, every Sunday he writes a column of his underdeveloped thoughts and rambling on a variety of timely topics, hodgepodged together without real coherence or reference to the topic itself.

And yes, i never miss it.

With this as my inspiration, here is my ode to a Steve Simmons Sunday sports column.


THIS AND THAT
Daniel Alfredsson playing the point on Ottawa's powerplay was the coup of the season. Well, that was before using a pylon-esque stick check on a breaking Jason Pominville to try and save their season. Maybe forwards aren't always supposed to play defence...if Roberto Luongo gets his preferred free agent contract this offseason, he will make more than Cam Ward, Vesa Toskala, and Ilya Bryzgalov combined...NHL Players in the Olympics only seems to work if Canada wins gold...Brian Burke is the sort of results-based, take-charge leader that would never work if he had to report to someone else or a board or a pension plan or a construction magnate or a...The media believes Albert Pujols is apparently underrated and is not receiving enough publicity for his 19 home runs thus far. I guess no one in the media has a Fantasy Baseball Team. In fantasy leagues, Pujols is Christ-like...Mitch Albon and Mike Lupica declare that Bonds passing Ruth is insignificant because he would still only be in second place, and the rest of the media follows suit. Well, if Ruth is so insignificant, why does an Amazon search reveal 167 books on his life?... Steve Downie's unpenaltized spear to the ball sac of Ryan Martinelli and the rash of other bad calls by the referees in the Peterborough-London OHL series robbed fans of three more great games between these two great teams. The OHL should be ashamed...Who thought the Dallas Mavericks would play tougher and grittier ball than the Spurs and Pistons thus far in the playoffs?

HEAR AND THERE
At this point in his career, Daniel Alfredsson is not a hall-of-famer. Based on his playoff playing style, I don't think he wants to be....Flip Murray is cheap. Larry Hughes is not. And who is more valuable to the success of the Cleveland Cavaliers?..Mark Cuban criticizes NBA refereeing and is fined $200,000. Given the whistles his team got in games two and three which led to two wins for the Mavericks, only Tobacco and Firearms lobbyists have a better record in America...Dustin Penner is as physical a force as Todd Bertuzzi only with greater upside...Toronto FC: i don't get it...In a league that lacks enforcers like Charles Oakley and offers referee-based protection to stars , LeBron James is able to talk trash to Gilbert Arenas at the foul line to get in his head...We reward parity in the NFL so that all teams have a chance to win. We reward team dynasties in the NBA so that the best teams can advance and meet in the playoffs. This season, the NHL ends up with the parity thing in the Western Conference, and the dynasty thing in the Eastern Conference, and they are criticized for both outcomes...Steve McNair is more important to the immediate future of the Tennessee Titans than Vince Young, and Jeff Fisher knows it...If reports are true, Larry Brown will now be paid more to stop coaching than he was to actually coach in his career. James Dolan couldn't float a couple million more to get rid of the architect of this problem, Isiah Thomas.

SCENE AND HEARD
In surprising unanimity, the Toronto media has anointed Paul Maurice as a quality head coach. Not in so far as he has a winning record or a history of success. Bryan Coangelo and J.P. Riccardi are also "quality" sports guys who lack a history of success in these roles. Maybe it really is all about appearances...Ryan Smyth has more lost teeth than points in the series with the Sharks...Barry Bonds in a Yankees uniform makes more and more sense with every deep fly-out to his glove and from his bat...Rick Adelman balances a team around the egos of Bonzi Wells and Ron Artest and turns them into a late-season juggernaut. Perhaps his post-coaching career will be in something in peace negotiations...Zach Randolph for Kenyon Martin is one headache for another, and if I was Carmelo, i would be disappointed...Ray Emery, Daniel Alfredsson and any other hyped-up Senator didn't single-handedly lose the series. Simply, the Buffalo Sabres won because they were the more talented team. Believe it or not, teams can win series without the aid of an other team's scapegoat...Ottawa might have laid down against Buffalo, but Colorado didn't show up against Anaheim...Attention please: Steve Nash is playing defence...The dismissal of Joey Harrington by the Lions partially absolves Steve Mariucci of blame since it was he that said Joey didn't fit before last season...I guess if Brett Favre and his one championship can take nearly four months to decide to play another season, Steve Yzerman and his three Cups deserves the same time and more.

AND ANOTHER THING
Suddenly, the effort-level of Kobe Bryant is as predictable as Vince Carter but not nearly as bad as the grievance-filing Detroit Lions...Wayne Gretzky may have been wrong for leaving Eric Staal off the Canadian Olympic team, but Don Waddell was dead wrong for leaving Ryan Miller off the US Olympic team...LeBron James at 21 is better than Michael Jordan at 21. Is there any chance that the media will let LeBron develop without this constant reminder?...Perhaps the questions around Joe Thornton in the playoffs were also traded from Boston...Mike James wants to go to Houston. Please don't take Chris Bosh with you...What happens to Ricky Williams contract with the Miami Dolphins if he plays for the Toronto Argonauts and is injured? Do they then demand his signing bonus back?...The downfall of the Detroit Pistons might just be rooted in the trading of Carlos Arroyo and Darko Milicic...Despite no other Toronto teams playing, the Jays attracted only 18,611 fans on Monday night to see ace Roy Halladay throw a four-hitter. Toronto is a sports town as much as Ottawa is a friendly one...nine years after eliminating the Senators from the playoffs on the ice, Dominik Hasek did it this time from behind the bench...Steve Nash is everything the world hopes for, while Barry Bonds is everything the world currently is...and whatever happened to Bruce Gardiner?

Hockey Pick Recipe...sauteed in hope with a hint of schadenfreude seasoning...

UPDATED! UPDATED!
If you really want to see how terrible i did with my last picks, check out the original post. Go ahead. See. Terrible!

Call this a redemption. More of an educated guess really. Here goes:

Second Round
East - two GREAT matchups
Ottawa over Buffalo in 7 - DEAD WRONG!
New Jersey over Carolina in 6 - no chance at this, but Jersey can still win in seven.

West
San Jose over Edmonton in 6 - this could happen.
Colorado over Anaheim in 6 - DEAD WRONG!

Conference Finals
East
New Jersey over Ottawa in 7
West
San Jose over Colorado in 6

Stanley Cup
New Jersey over San Jose

(mind you, given the jinx that my picks had in the last round, perhaps these selections were done to mess up the teams in this round and beyond. maybe i really want the teams i picked to lose. i mean, that is true of the Ottawa pick. this is why i pick Duke in one of my NCAA Basketball pools. picking who you hate is hedging your bets.

(if they win, you picked right; if they lose, they are out of the playoffs. either way, you win.

(hey, if you were a fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs, Toronto Raptors, Detroit Lions, and Detroit Tigers, you would somehow seek happiness in the misfortunes of other teams. schadenfreude is my shield and my sword. it's estoppel, really.)

if pressed for time, just go to the political ideology handbook

Three months isn't a long time to craft a budget. I struggled with mine for months before allotting the appropriate amount to "entertainment" and "food". On a federal level, it takes even more time. Former Finance Minister Paul Martin agonized over his budgets for most of the year - which is symbolic the very decision-making process that failed him when was PM. The consultations and the data all take time to collect and analyze to ensure the budget addresses the appropriate areas.

I was always under the false assumption that these appropriate areas were fuelled by need and that the policy that drove these choices came reflected the departments and people in real need. The budget was about using logic and a full understanding of issues to make choices to improve the things that truly needed improvement.

Well, that sacred cow was slain on Tuesday, as the Conservative government rolled out a collection of tax breaks that aren't really needed and cut programs that are. Natives? Nope. Environment? Sorry. Soccer moms with children under six? Step right up.

Remember the episode of the Simpsons when Bart is employed at Fat Tony's 'social club' as the bartender and his exposure to this criminal element desensitizes him to his own crimes. When Principal Skinner catches Bart orchestrating a spray paint interpretation of Skinner, Bart yawns and stuffs a wad of money into Skinner's shirt pocket and says "you ain't seen nothing." Skinner refuses the bribe and sentences Bart to detention were he must write "I will not bribe the principal" on the blackboard. Remember that?

Well, it feels like we should be doing the same to Harper and Flaherty for stuffing our pockets with tax credits and asking us to look the other way as they pick on the country's most vulnerable. "I will not pay off the conscience of Canadians" feels like appropriate blackboard fodder. But thanks to party debt and general disorganization by the opposition, Harper isn't going to detention. In fact, he will be the one building detention facilities.

But why is the budget doing this? Well, because the Conservative Party playbook says so. Flaherty towed the party line with a minimalist approach to government - let the provinces do their thing, let the people spend their money, and we will just do less. Bam! Conservative ideology. Do things that defend borders, lock people up, and blow foreigners up. Double bam! Conservative ideology.

And this copy and paste policy making is no surprise given the time crunch for Harper and the gang. Add the reality of the three-plus month minority government, and you have a "make the most potential voters happy while ignoring the rest" way of governing. The appropriate areas for the budget are the ones that vote - well, once you sell the ideas in the Conservative ideology to the masses. "we have crime, so you need prisons." etc., etc.

(It will be interesting to see how the departments choose to apply Flaherty's bullet point direction - how exactly will the military be spending all that money? remember - the difficulty with ideology is that it is surprisingly short on implementation and explicit directions, something Hurricane Katrina and FEMA taught the ideology sharing U.S. well, i don't think they learned anything, so not "taught". more like "demonstrated for". i digress.)

Given the latest budget and the obvious influence of party policy, I understand how the choices made by previous goverments fit into their "grand plan for the country". The trouble is that my understanding of the Conservative Party choices only make me dislike their "grand plan for the country".

Beauchemin made for a less-than-beautiful way for the Flames

One minute and six seconds into game six, Calgary was elmininated from the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

While not actually eliminated - they still had two games to lose - the Flames lost their trademarked intensity and determination by giving up on their style of play that got them to that point in that moment. I say this because at 1:06 of the first period of game six, Jarome Iginla, aware of the five minute penalty that awaited him, decided to take himself out the game by challenging Francois Beauchemin to a fight.

Suddenly the series was as much about one player versus another for the Flames than one team versus another team. The collective passion and discipline that coach Darryl Sutter ingrained in this underachieving team that carried them to the 2004 Stanley Cup Final dissipated at the hands of their own captain. The moral victory of capturing the Northwest Division and the accompanying home ice advantage is fleeting without Sutter's teachings.

I don't want to rag on Iginla. He didn't single-handedly cost them the next two games. But it was that fight symbolized the change in the play of the Flames. The TSN Apple Auto Glass Turning Point if you will. One selfish moment by an otherwise selfless player altered the direction of the series for the Flames in the same vein as Saku Koivu's injury hurt the Canadiens in their series.

But like the Canadiens, the Flames were a fragile team, one that scored the least amount of goals of any of the playoff teams this season. They relied on positional hockey - i.e. a quasi-trap system, dump and chase, etc. - because they lacked the firepower to take over a game. The rest was left up to the often miraculous goaltending of Mikka Kiprusoff - a most deserving Hart Trophy Candidate. The Flames could ill-afford not to have someone with the abilities and credentials of Iginla on the ice. Jarome knows this because we all know this.

Yet, Iginla dropped the gloves. And the Flames dropped the next two games. So, logically he is to blame. Isn't he?

Well, not entirely. The Mighty Ducks outplayed, outworked and outhustled the Flames. They were "monsters" - a la personal favourite hockey colour commentator Pierre Maguire. They earned those two wins. The performance of Anaheim over the last two games legitimizes the adjective 'Mighty' in their Disney-brand of a name.

But it honestly felt like the Flames rolled over and lost the series after Beauchemin surprised Iginla with a flurry of left-hands that knocked the Flames captain to the ice. Calgary just never seemed to get back up again. The players were down. The fans were down. Even the perpetual excitement conveyor Don Wittman was down. The once great series crawled to its anti-climatic finale.

While I will lament the prospects of a Battle of Alberta series with upstart Edmonton, it is the finish of the Flames that is most disappointing. I am sure this a feeling shared across southern Alberta and focused in the locker room of a team that failed to play up to their Stanley Cup contending aspirations.

For the sake of "what might have been", next time, I bet Iginla would keep his gloves on.

(Mind you, in true Gregg Easterbrook fashion, I put the blame squarely on this decision of the Calgary Police. In football, Easterbrook often postulates that the football gods reward the team whose cheerleaders bare the most skin. Perhaps the keeping on of women's tops on the Red Mile was the cause of the Flames demise? Add it to the rest of my data for the graduate school paper I intend to write.)

Steve Nash is great...but most influential? Did he make James Blunt get the same haircut?

TORONTO (CP) - Four Canadians have made Time magazine's list of the world's 100 most influential people.

Basketball star Steve Nash, Flickr website creators Stewart Butterfield and Caterina Fake, and EBay's first employee and president, Jeffrey Skoll, made the list alongside the likes of Pope Benedict, Oprah Winfrey, and George W. Bush.

NBA legend Charles Barkley writes in the magazine about Nash, saying he's taught the world that it pays to be selfless.

Barkley wrote that he enjoys watching Nash "act like a magician on the court."

Taught the world to be selfless? Really, Steve Nash did that? I assume you mean the degradation of the star-focussed team concept? Really? Steve Nash did all that?

I thought the "selfless" trend in basketball boiled down to:

• the success of the San Antonio Spurs structure in terms of the collective focus of all employees in the front office, and the balance of the team on the court;
  
• the realized limitations of the Kobe-Shaq-centred Lakers Dynasty from egos and politics;
  
• the further validation of Bill Simmon's Ewing Theory; and
  
• most importantly, the failing of post-2000 U.S. Men's Basketball at World Championships and the Olympics via their teambuilding patchwork of All-Stars and marketable names at the hands of team-disciplined countries with lesser known players.
  

Don't get me wrong, I like Steve Nash. Aside from his defence, I love his game. But can a sports star really be that "influential" even if much of their critical appeal stems from the "intangibles they bring to the game"? So why include Nash in this story let alone give him the overstated praise they include?

Nash's inclusion hardly evokes a response on the level of Roe v. Wade; in fact, i would say that his inclusion is pretty much inconsequential to the entire list. He is probably one of the few players who is accessible to the Time Magazine reader demographic. Maybe that is just it. Demographics. Marketing. Spin. Perhaps, his inclusion is just Time Magazine helping a fellow Time Warner business in TNT boost publicity around their NBA coverage by referencing this floppy-haired, self-effacing point guard that no one can really hate. I mean, he really is just a nice guy, and cross-subsidiary reacharound isn't a new phenomenon in business. Adbusters could probably have a field day with how the Canadian Press is wrong to pick up this PR-based story and, thereby, legitimize it.

What is more interesting is how this story acts as another contributing voice to debate surrounding the MVP coronation of Steve Nash. This is a rather wide-open year with lots of candidates and no real favourite - even though the Arizona Republic reported Nash would win last week. Fans, announcers and writers can endlessly debate the merits of players. Basically, it is the perfect storm for the NBA to gain greater media exposure, while buying time for the playoffs to script storylines of underdogs, matchups, and classic games - components which drive fan interest long after their team is eliminated.

(And if there are doubts as to David Stern's capability of hijacking mainstream media sources with this sort of non-game distraction, his worth was cemented by the NBA Dress Code announcement last October that received equal coverage as the World Series and NFL games.)

I hate to wade into the debate of this award that promotes the league through greater emphasis on the selection process and announcement anticipation than on the recognition of the player. Further, I hate to get into the fact that since the NBA provides no criteria for the award, voters can create their own heuristics and base them entirely on asymmetrical information. Sure team-based components like win-loss record and playoff appearances, and individual-based components like point, assist and rebound averages provide an illusion of objectivity to the selection process; however, completely subjective akin to arguments between columnists often hold greater weight. But no, I don't want to get into that.

So as much as he is a "cultural force" in the "heroes and pioneers" section of influence, Steve Nash isn't my MVP. Dwyane Wade is out because couldn't sort out the Miami Heat - partly because Pat Riley meddled too much too soon. Dirk Nowitzki and Chauncey Billups are both out because of their supporting casts, which like Nash last year, makes their jobs pretty easy.

My MVP Award boils down to two guys:

• Kobe "Mamba" Bryant
• Lebron "King James"

For his 81 points in one game, 35.4 points per game, and for carrying a borderline-terrible Lakers team to the playoffs, not to mention then putting his nuts in the face of last year's MVP, I gotta go with Kobe. (yeah, i know it was a charge. but still!) His influence is all over this season. Time Magazine should be writing about that.

Hell, given his 8 ppg improvement and his re-emergence as a marketable human being, I woud give him the Most Improved Player as well. Boris Diaw, be damned.

Rearendjoinder

Boozing at the Royal Oak on a Friday Afternoon led to Aqua Teen Hunger Force bedtime viewing, which led to Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law. I love this show. I thought it had peaked with the Droopy Botox episode last season, but last week's ep conquered all. Phil Ken Sebben is in my thoughts. Often. And now you can watch!
Sebben and Sebben Employee Orientation

Other weekend viewing and PVR scheduling:

• Roger Smigel finally gets his due - Saturday Night Live Best Of Saturday TV Funhouse. Another Stephen Colbert voice-over project!
• Are you watching the best NHL and NBA Playoff seriesesesesses? Buffalo and Philadelphia is on Sunday at 1:30ish, while Phoenix and LA Lakers follows at 3:30. Who knew hatin' on one another made for such great television? Don't waste your time with anything else.
  
• Dave Chappelle dropped by Inside the Actors Studio. The two hour episode finally airs in Canada tomorrow at 5 pm EST on Bravo.
  
• The new season of Trailer Park Boys kicked off a few weeks back. Yep, this may just be the weirdest season yet - and with a movie coming out featuring Hugh Dillon, it doesn't look like TPB is coming back from the brink of crazy.

BTW: I updated my hockey picks below - no, i didn't pull a Stephen Harper and either erase it from the site or ignore the failure completely. I find it funny that my picks for the Stanley Cup final teams may be eliminated by the second weekend of the playoffs. Funny and pathetic. And something I can't control.

More NFL Draft Coverage - well, Detroit Lions NFL Draft Coverage: Simms made sense, Bullock filled a need, and Calhoun raises some questions. I mean, I expected a first day selection of either an O-Lineman to plug in the line or a DT to eventually replace Wilkinson. But a RB in the 3rd round? We don't have a 4th rounder this year, so we needed someone useful in the 3rd. But why spend that on a RB when we have RBs signed and in place? Or are the RBs really in place? Why doesn't Tom Kowalski just explain it all to us before my mind melts from speculation. And yes, this paragraph hardly qualifies as coverage.

And how did the Tennessee Titans end up with the two best players - Vince Young and LenDale White - from the best college football game of the year - the Rose Bowl? Wonderlic tests and Character issues are questionable heuristics made popular by the media's corporate stance on the NFL and scandalization of isolated events. Mind you, if Young gets lost on the way to the stadium or White gets post-retirement-Jerome-Bettis fat by year three...

See if you are worthy of a first round pick:

• Objective-like Stuff:
• The Draft Combine
  
• Wonderlic Test
• Subjective-like Nonsense:
• Are you evil?
• How BAD are you?
• Any other character issues?
• Can you follow these five steps?

As it stands now, I am a sub 4.4 40-yard dash from being an undrafted free agent. I mean, just look at my character issues.

trying to make this worth your while

I promise to start writing more. I swear. I really don't have enough in my life to do to justify the gap in consistent prose.

In the interim, enjoy the brand spanking new Radio Blog featuring some of the music currently occupying my iPod. Songs will be added and subtracted on my schedule - unless the artist emails me and asks me to take their song down.

(That said, never try to figure out Radio Blog while watching the NFL Draft, responding to email, and seeking out food. That took much longer than needed.)

Turning to the NFL Draft: As a huge Lions fan, I am happy that they drafted for defense and didn't use their first rounder to wade into the shallow WR pool for the 4th (!?!) year in a row. Florida State LB Ernie Sims was selected and brings his fast, under-sized frame to a team seeking a defensive identity other than "slight speedbump to the endzone." While he is a self-admitted fan of NFC North Rival Minnesota, Sims' biggest reported weakness is that he hits so hard that he frequently injures his brain. Yep, we got a guy who knocks out himself and others. Excellent. Here's hoping a solid DB falls to Detroit in the second round and that Millen can squeeze out a 3rd or 4th rounder for Joey.

Mind you - can you believe that two freakin' networks are broadcasting the NFL Draft in America and that the ESPN website has crashed repeatedly from draft fan web traffic today? That's a lot of medium dedicated to "experts" sporting bad hair and predicting, criticizing and bullshitting the potential performance of seemingly unknown young men. TV Makes the Expert, indeed. Kudos to you Paul Tagliabue for turning an always anti-climatic event into an industry, thereby keeping well-spoken goofs in suits employed. Kudos.

And no, i wouldn't miss it for the world.

Everybody is working for the weekend.

File this under brimming with excitement: In the age of lame duck court-side reporters, isn't it a bit of fresh air to have Jalen Rose working the sidelines for TNT during the playoffs? Charisma, playoff availability, and 3/4 of a communications degree - I think Jalen will be ratings juggernaut as he turns out the first memorable side-line interviews in the post Kolber-Namath era. Craig Sager and Cheryl Miller be damned.

I will have more on the NBA later. Maybe tomorrow.

File this under 'did you just poop the bed?': why did the studio behind the English film version of The Rocket choose April 21 for distribution? Granted the film seems to be targeted to hockey historians and women - its just like a previously made Heritage Moment and it is sappy a la Cinderella Man - but wouldn't hockey fans in general be drawn to this film? And isn't this the first day of the NHL playoffs? I wonder why, when a Canadian film typically has shelf life of at most a couple of weeks in English theatres, a distributor would push this film out when the first weekend is a write-off for a large part of the targeted demographic? Mind you, i always thought that any film released between mid-January and late-April was a film that was marketable only in an unconventional sense. So perhaps with the Rocket, unconventional marketing calls for drowning the film in a slate of NHL playoff games. i dunno.

UPDATED!!!! Green is right; Red is wrong - and man, was i wrong. hilariously wrong.
My Quickee NHL Playoff Picks:
First Round
East
Ottawa over Tampa Bay in 5
Carolina over Montreal in 6
New York Rangers over New Jersey in 7
Philadelphia over Buffalo in 7

West
Detroit over Edmonton in 4
Dallas over Colorado in 5
Calgary over Anaheim in 7
San Jose over Nashville in 7 (it was 5 games not 7. but that is just splitting hairs)

Second Round
East
New York Rangers over Ottawa in 7
Carolina over Philadelphia in 6

West
Detroit over San Jose in 6
Dallas over Calgary in 7

Conference Finals
East
New York Rangers over Carolina in 6
West
Dallas over Detroit in 7

Stanley Cup
Dallas over New York Rangers in 6
Storyline: Bettman gets his big American market Stanley Cup; still, nobody watches.

Something to watch: Thanks to Gary Bettman pre-emptively calling out his officials, the refs are now even more important to the outcome of the game. No longer will refs just "let them play". Penalties will be called regardless of the score, time, or player. What could be scary, and what Don Cherry pointed out last night on Coach's Corner, will be if the officials will be so bent on sticking to Gary's mandate that they will call questionable penalties in crucial parts of games just to prove their loyalty to Gary. After seeing the Dan Boyle penalty in game one of the Tampa Bay-Ottawa series that lead to Jason Spezza's game winning powerplay goal, I think Don might be onto something.


Cool on the Inter-web:
Nice to see Midlake on the Toronto Star's Anti-Hit List for this week. Ignoring my conflict of interest with the song title, I know that 'Roscoe' will be on my Best of 2006 CD sampler. It's alt-rock-country at its psychodelic best.

How can you not make money on an alternative route/toll road in the traffic quagmire known as Toronto? I find this all a little suspicious. Mike Harris, you are looking well these days.

I heard about this film on the message board of the NBA Cares Celebrity Fantasy Basketball Challenge and thought it was an internet practical joke by Sam Jackson. Apparently, 'Snakes on a Plane' is really happening, and Sam Jackson is really in it. August 18th is the release date. And yes, the title really is that self-explanatory. Between now and then, expect tons of film-inspired, non-Studio promotion by people who find the film's title and premise too good not to skewer.

NHL misses another opportunity

Apparently, today was the NHL Draft Lottery. The St. Louis Blues won, thereby retaining their number one pick overall.

But what I don't understand is how the NHL didn't make the lottery bigger deal. Granted this season's draft lacks the household name of a Sidney Crosby, last summer's draft lottery made for exciting television. All those GMs and Presidents of hopeful teams sweating out the wait in a ballroom in New York hoping to pick Sidney Crosby. It was tense. It was exciting. It was sport. More importantly, it worked.

My proposal for next year:
On the first day of the playoffs, delay the start of the first games by 15 minutes. During this time, gather representatives from all the non-playoff teams - yes, they will be available - and reveal the draft order on a nationally televised platform. You can even kill excess time by interviewing the representative from the team that wins the lottery. Hey, doesn't this sound a lot like the NBA Draft Lottery?

This is basic sports marketing, and the NHL, who is trying for greater interest and appeal, should know better.

np: Me Too - The Clipse ft. Pharrell

Happy Birthday Ellen.

yes, "the e.lo and ross show" was put on hiatus for retooling earlier this year; perhaps there will be a comeback special in the fall. really, this is dependent upon your availability and salary demands.

here's hoping your next quarter century is even better than the last one.

np - Birthday Cake - Cibo Mato

Leafs done. Quinn done. Jesus not...?

despite their dreadful play in January and early February, the Leafs were in playoff contention into the Easter weekend. well, mathematical playoff contention certainly isn't a reflection of competitiveness, as the playoff-making Leafs would surely be a five game speedbump for either Ottawa or Carolina. so while the Leafs survived past Good Friday, they didn't make it to Easter Sunday. and Pat Quinn didn't even make to Jesus' resurrection.

so if you are scoring at home that is:
Leafs 0
Quinn 0
Jesus 1

in any event, MLSE just held the press conference announcing Pat Quinn's firing, which could have only been less surprising if Leafs TV had spliced footage of Pat walking to the rink with Sean Penn in "Dead Man Walking" and played it on the ACC Jumbotron.

so yes, we all saw this move coming - a move precipitated with the unceremonious revoking of his general manager duties in the summer of 2003.

but there is one surprise and that has to do with the timing of it all. rather than wait until saturday when the playoffs are in full swing or until after the marlies are eliminated from the playoffs, MLSE springs this announcement and all of its related intrigue on the toronto media today.

today there are no nhl games, no nba games, and no jays game. heck, they did this while the Raptors were just down the hall cleaning out their lockers. quinn's firing is the entire media's focus. is it any wonder that fergie was being grilled today? every media person was there. what was the announcement by the media relations department today? "chris bosh will be answering a couple of questions. oh, and while you are here, just down the hall..."

(btw: it was somewhat funny to see fergie lob up vague softball sized answers to journalists and not expect a pointed followup question. you could see fergie visibly tighten up whenever steve simmons had the floor. and when a sportswriter who is the antithesis of a 60 minute investigative journalist makes you cringe, you know your answers really are that empty. "we won a record 26 games at home this season." the outcomes are more absolute under the new rules. ties don't happen. of course records for wins would be broken, john.)

so now, we have the entire toronto hockey world speculating as to the coaching candidates, as well as the direction of the club, and looking for answers from any and all sources. wouldn't you love to be paul maurice trying to prepare the marlies for the playoffs today?

my prediction like everyone else in the sports world:
-current Marlies coach Paul Maurice gets a "promotion" to Leafs Head Coach once his team is eliminated by Grand Rapids
-former Leafs assistant coach turned candidate for other position in the organization Keith Acton becomes the Marlies head coach.
-Toronto Star writer Damien Cox sets a record for number of times he uses the "i told you so" face on television appearances.

this was the clandestine plan Fergie had all along. it's a shame that the Leafs entered the first post-lockout NHL season without putting this plan in motion and rather relying on the GM's assertion that that they will be competitive. but those talking points are just par for the course. after all, resurrecting a franchise nearly four decades removed from hockey dominance seems to have become more about faith than action.

hey, maybe Jesus is available?

np - The Libertine by Patrick Wolf